


The Tragic Hella Varal

by Thestarswillnotsaveus



Category: Friends at the Table (Podcast)
Genre: And yet, F/F, Friends at the Table - Freeform, Profanity, This probably wasn't supposed to be very angsty, Winter in Hieron Spoilers, alcohol consumption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-22 00:30:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13155312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thestarswillnotsaveus/pseuds/Thestarswillnotsaveus
Summary: In which Hella is a gay disaster, after a very long, very difficult day.





	The Tragic Hella Varal

**Author's Note:**

> For @sasha_reneau, You only asked for Hella flirting with the hot barkeep, but I noticed you were an Adaire/Hella shipper too, and well. Things just sorta happened. Happy Secret Samol!
> 
> Occurs during the night at the start of Winter in Hieron 24: An Open Mind. Does contain spoilers.
> 
> The title is a play on Ali's fantastic playlist for Hella on Spotify.
> 
> This is one of my first attempts at writing fiction of this sort, I hope it turned out okay!

It was safe to say that Hella Varal had had a shitty day.

  
It was safe to say that this morning, when she was pulled into some sort of other dimension where she almost died in the city where she murdered her best friend. It was safe to say that right afterwards, when her best friendalmost broke her hand over some stupid ring. It was also safe to say that an hour ago, when she had to listen to a table of stuck up religious types lecture her on sex and morality after an offhanded comment on how hot the bartender at the local tavern, the Topgallant, was. And it was safe to say now, as she made her way back to the Topgallant to crash after what had been, it was safe to say, a very shitty day.

  
Hella walked threw the door and practically hurled her sword at the doorman, disarming herself, and pushed through the second door into the saloon proper. She pushed through the general rowdiness of the crowded bar, making her way to a shady corner. As she stood there fuming, she watched Hadrian and his friend Alyosha walk up to the barkeep and arrange rooming for the night.

  
As Hella fumed, she wondered what was up with the rest of her party. She hadn't known Throndir terribly long. He was another friend of Hadrian's, but she had managed to hit it off with him somewhat in Twinbrook. He had seemed like an okay guy then, if a bit obnoxious, but something had been off about him lately. He seemed a bit duller, and more draining to spend time with. He had hung back while Hadrian, Alyosha, and Hella went back to the Topgallant to check out some place with Adaire.

  
Fucking Adaire.

  
After everything they'd been through together, she could look a complete stranger in the eye and tell them that the thing she lacked most was 'a true connection?' After everything they'd done to support each other to get here? Well fuck her. Stupid fucking Adaire with her stupid fucking eyes, calculating and kind in equal measure, and her stupid fucking hair mouth, always rattling off harebrained schemes from those stupid fucking lips...

  
Hella shook herself out of her reverie just as Hadrian and Alyosha headed up to their rooms. She sighed, and considered heading after them. No, she thought. The last thing in the world she needed right now was more lecturing from the Church of Samothes. As she stood contemplating her next move, she made eye contact with the barkeep. Earlier, she'd introdced herself as Lauranee Lovekin, the proprietor and head priestess of the Topgallant (Which was also some sort of church? Hella hadn't really followed the particulars of that bit so well). She was much shorter than Hella, but looked about as heavy: she was fucking ripped. Hella watched for a moment as she hefted a keg of some sort of ale onto her shoulder to pull it out of a storage room, and found herself coming back to the same question that got her in trouble at the church dinner: "how much do you think she can bench?"

  
She approached the bar, pulled up an empty stool, and ordered a beer.

  
The priestess turned to her and asked "So, what's your lack?"

  
She looked at the bartender with a slightly confused look. "You just asked me that earlier today."

  
"I like to ask people again when they come in to drink. I feels like what a bartender is supposed to do, and you get all sorts of interesting stories from folks." Lauranee fixed Hella with a smile as she set Hella's beer on the bar. "If it bothers you, I can leave you to it."

  
"No,its okay," Hella sighed. "Honestly, right now I lack patience."

  
"Listen hun, if I'm bothering you that much, I said I can leave you alone."

  
Hella winced. "Oh no, that's not what I-"

  
Lauranee gave Hella a wink. "I know what you meant. You seem like you've had a rough day."

  
Hella let out another long sigh, and took a swig of her beer. "Honestly, I'm so tired of dealing with all of these religious types." As soon as the words passed her lips, she remembered who she was speaking to. "Oh, that's not to say that you're-"

  
Lauranee laughed. "Don't even worry about it hun, I hear it all the time. I've gotta go deal with some other customers, why don't I leave you another beer?"

  
"Oh, yeah. Sure." As Lauralee walked off, Hella could feel her skin crawling as the embarrassment washed over her. That had gone just about as poorly as it could have gone. Grimacing, she finished her first beer, then slammed the second. As she finished it, she could immediately feel the buzz washing over her. A few moments later, Lauranee turned to walk over to Hella, who took a deep breath and psyched herself up for round two.

  
"Hey, listen, I'm sorry," Hella said. "I kinda just made an ass of myself, and I just want to apologize."

 

Lauranee fixed Hella with a look. "Those beers are hitting you pretty hard, aren't they?"

  
Hella laughed. "No, I've just had a shitty day, and I'm tired, and I just don't want to give you the wrong impression."

  
Lauranee's look softened, and her eyes flickered up and down as though to size Hella up. "Hey, I've got a question for you."

  
Hella nodded. "Shoot."

  
"How much do you bench?"

  
For the first time that day, Hella laughed.

  
"You know, I meant to ask you that same question."

  
Lauranee grinned. "400 pounds. 450 on a good day."

  
As the two women discussed their workout regiments, Hella began to relax. Speaking to Lauranee was easy: she was personable, and didn't hide her thoughts. She would have a thought, and then let you in on it a moment or two later. It was refreshing, Hella thought, to be in the company of someone who didn't manipulate and scheme constantly without cluing you in.

  
\---

  
As they talked, Hella got through a third beer, and then a fourth. Finally, after most of the activity in the bar had died down, Lauranee fixed Hella with that same look. "Hella, this has been nice. You're funny, you're smart, you're built like some sort of stallion. But listen: I'm the proprietess of a holy tavern, I have all sorts of people hit on me all the time."

  
Hella's stomach dropped "Oh no, listen, its just that you're strong and hot and like really funny..."

  
'Oh fuck,' Hella thought. 'I'm fucking drunk. Shit, I should probably stop talking.'

  
"...and you like own a bar and thats really neat, and you're some sort of weird priestess which is cool and you're funny and smart and cool and you do this cute sorta smirk thing when you're lying that is just adorable and I love the way your voice just sort of like does the thing it does and listen Adaire, I-"

  
Lauranee blinked, and Hella felt her heart drop in her chest as she realized what she'd done.

  
"Hella?"

  
Hella didn't know what to say.

  
"What do you lack?"

  
Hella thought about what she lacked, really and truly. And she thought of the smug look on Adaire's face as she poisoned Saul. She thought of Adaire springing into action to patch up Red Jack, and how she kept her cool in such a tense situation. She heard countless ridiculous schemes play in her head all at once. She thought of a swift blade, a sweet voice, a soft hand. She tasted crackers.

  
"Apparently, I lack a true connection."

  
Lauranee turned away as Hella slumped in her chair.

  
"Listen Lauranee, you're a really cool lady. And like, you're really nice and smart, and you're really like, impressively strong especially considering you're some kind of dwarf-"

  
\---

  
Adaire wasn't really listening to Throndir as they made their way back to the Topgallant. She was preoccupied by what she'd seen in The Lack House, and even though she tried not to think about it, she couldnt help but come back to the visions of her and her family. She absentmindedly scratched Kodiak behind his ears as she walked through the front door, and was immediately met by the sight of Hella passed out cold on the floor of the bar.

  
"Jeez, what happened to her?" Throndir asked the barkeep, who was sweeping a corner of the floor.

  
"She had too much to drink," the bartender replied without looking up. "Made a real ass of herself too." Adaire walked over and knelt beside the fighter, checking on her.  
"Oh, did she break anything? Did she hurt anyone?" Throndir was fretting. "She can be a bit overly violent sometime, and I don't think I've ever actually seen her drunk-"  
"It's fine. Folks here are tough, no harm done. That hit on her cheek might leave a nasty bruise, though."

  
Sure enough, as Adaire checked her, she had a big purple welt on the side of her face.

  
The priestess just sighed. "You all have rooms upstairs. You look tired, take your friend up and get some sleep."

  
"Yeah, of course, thanks." Throndir and Adaire grabbed ahold of Hella, and worked together to heave her onto Kodiak's back. As they started heading upstairs, the bartender grabbed Adaire's arm.

  
"Hey, you keep an eye on that one, okay? Take care of her, keep her out of trouble."

  
Adaire nodded, thanked her quietly, and set off after Throndir and Kodiak.

  
\---

  
Between the three of them, they managed to get Hella into her bed. Throndir said goodnight to Adaire, then scratched Kodiak behind the ears, and the two of them set off for the room they shared, leaving her alone with Hella.

  
Adaire stood there for a moment, thinking about everything that had happened that day, and sighed. She turned to face Hella, and for once in her life she didn't have any words to say. She stared at her for a long time before finally bending down and kissing her on her forehead. Wordlessly, she left the room and went to bed herself.


End file.
